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to no one in particular 12/3

I remember laying on your bed,
 
listening to you breathe
 
So warm, so sweet,
 
with no where to be.
 
 
Every once in awhile I’d look up to see you
 
to see which direction your lips curved
 
to see the dance your eyes moved.
 
 
I remember that room’s smell, earthy like forest floors.
 
For a moment I didn’t remember all the other “her”s
 
For a moment,
 
it was just me and you.
 
 
the kind of escapism found in my vices
 
the kind of safety around those devices
 
the kind of truth those half-truths lie in
 
 
and no, I didn’t mean lay in.
 
 
but it wasn’t a noise, a click, or a pixel
 
it was the way you slowly dropped the pencil
 
as your eye closed, exhausted
 
you were a slave, captive, arrested.
 
 
Ironic then,
 
this was the first moment I felt rested
 
I would have never slept again,
 
if it meant we connected.
 
 
As I felt your breath
 
I wondered
 
 
what let you drift off? What made it so easy?
 
The grey rain? The plain words? The soft cloth?
 
or me?
 
 
I wanted to sleep too,
 
next to you quiet
 
 
Not that I’d ever know the texture.
 
Not that I’d ever rest with her.
 
 
but sometimes,
 
I dream at night,
 
and drift like you did,
 
and suddenly,
 
 
I’m there too.
 
 
but that laptops my head.
 
the blanket my arms.
 
those dancing eyes find me
 
and keep me from harm.
 
 
yet the worst part
 
my unsecreted admirer.
 
if you said you dreamt about me?
 
 
well then,
 
you’re a liar.
 
 
but no better truth,
 
could let me soar higher.
 
 
to my love, my friend,
 
it’s your secret admirer.
 
your faithful shoulder,
 
a humble enquirer
 
 
This is your love poem,
 
to no one in particular.
 
– to no one in particular 12/2/17
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