Death

Cheerios 4/28/18

I see my grandma

in the best parts of myself

like crops that were only allowed to grow

because her pure and innate love

planted the seed.

 

In times of turmoil

In times of useless atrophy

I think of wondrous stories

I once again become the child that used his grandma’s cane

as a pirate sword, rocket ship, lazer gun, or dance partner,

the ornate colors of my imaginations

weave tapestries that brighten my life,

all because she fostered that creativity

all because this woman spent her afternoon

with me and my brother

being dinosaurs, fighting crime, and sailing seas

 

she taught me to take the ideas in my hand

and make them a reality,

 

and that lesson allows me to create the things

that give my life purpose and passion

 

so should I ever do anything of importane

it is because she showed me

how to forge brilliance and wonder

from ideas in my head,

 

and even though she won’t witness

the culmination of her influences,

even though she won’t witness

the things I create,

 

I believe that in a way, she has already seen them

 

As a sophomore in high school

I first learned to code, HTML,

I made a box appear on a computer,

I told it how big to be,

I told it what color to be,

I was lit on fire

 

Directly after school, I raced to her apartment that day

and made her a little website,

explained every line of commands

and what they did,

 

obviously she had no clue what I was saying,

her computer knowledge started and ended

with solitaire..

 

but still,

she saw that spark in me,

and I believe she has already

seen all the technological creations I will make.

 

and even though she won’t hear the musicality

in the lines of my poetry

even though she won’t see the face

of the loved ones I read poems to

 

I believe she already heard it

 

I went to her apartment often,

and every time I played her songs

on that little keyboard

 

and sure I was no Beethoven,

and more often than not

that keyboard eventually ended in DJ mode

where I played her an “Avante Garde”

symphony of record scratches, lazer sounds,

and whatever noises I discovered the keyboard made that day

 

but still,

she saw that gift in me

and I believe she’s already heard

every song and poem I’ll ever write,

 

she unlocked my creativity

she became the canvas

I painted my dreams upon

 

Nan I see you

in the best parts of me,

the only parts I like,

you are the reason I dream,

you are the reason I create,

your influence brightened my world

and I will love you

and carry you with me

forever.

 

Thanks for listening.

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